Thinking back at my past I do remember adding friends on Myspace
when Myspace was a big success back in 2006-2009
and that was when I was on it
and after that the social network’s success died out.
Still,when I think back to the first two years of being on Myspace
if I could have done over I would have never added certain people as my friends.
I do regret it to this day because they never wanted me to be with that woman.
I personally never wanted anybody from Massachusetts certainly not a abortionist.
I realize more these days and those days were filled with grief and guilt
because people then viewed me as someone who wanted them
when I didn’t want them,yet wanted someone else.
Candice,Molly,Shayan and Johann were mistake in my opinion.
I regret that I let them speak to me as much as they did.
At the time I was lonely and wanted a conversation,yet I did not really want them.
I considered that at the time if I found somebody like her,I would be happy,
yet they could never be her so that is why they are no longer in my life.
It is a blessing that they are not either or else I would still be ignoring them today.
Those days gave me many life lessons and one of them is relationships take time.
Still,the woman that I loved honestly wanted nothing to do with me.
When I did add her as a friend I would have to wait till she did the same for me.
She wanted another man that was not me at the time.
I was devastated and enraged because he was no better than me.
Goodness alive,I view no body as better than me,they are human like me.
Connections and money do not make you better,just more known and noticeable.
In some ways that is good and some ways that is bad.
Still let’s go back to the other subject shall we?
Anyways,he was a actor like she is and I never heard of him and didn’t care either.
I still wanted her in my life and I resented that nothing could get us together then.
It seemed like every force of nature wanted it this way and I hated that too.
Anyways I still want her and it is still going this way:
I want her,yet she is staying off media because she likes avoiding me which sucks.
She should listen to Garth Brooks “More Than A Memory” she would know how I feel.
Her friends could care less how I do or if we ever know each other.
I also can care less about them and if they ever left this world I would not care either.
They did not care how I felt when I tried to reach her at all.
They just judged me nonstop and some claimed to be Christian.
I so wanted to punch them all out cold,that was how ticked mad as a flaming fire I was.
They got me that angry and I did want to get a punching bag to beat the hell out of.
Still maybe someday my dream of being with her will be a constant reality.