I’m Not The Man That I Was In High School(I Couldn’t Really Be “The Real Me” back then)

Honestly the me in 2000-2005 was not really me.
The whole Faithman Club was my idea,yet I blame them.
I threw away my Garth a Brooks drawing
because of that cult that I was in.
Christianity is not a cult,yet what that man had was a cult.
He was like “Every Tuesday I’ll get people to bring in their secular cd’s
and we will run them over.”
I was foolish to be influenced ever by him.
He had me wanting to praise God every second
which is below healthy really.
God deserves praise,yet not every second of your life,nope,he don’t want that.
I may redraw the Garth Brooks drawing that I drew
just so that I can recapture my time as a 15 year old.
My youth was robbed from me.
I let them rob it from me.
I wanted to go New York City,New York and to Paris,France
and my friends were going there,yet my folks refused.
I will go to those places someday,yes I will!
I was intimidated by the thought of being outnumbered by women 4-1.
It was a tough reality to me being in Paris,France
away from my then love and with women that I couldn’t stand.
If I could’ve done over,I would have devoted my time to my passion
rather than to how many wrestling figures that I could buy.
Plus action figures and happy meal toys too.
McDonalds brainwashes children to just be into material possessions.
They don’t teach them to be into their passions which to me is a mistake.
Children too often waste time doing nothing when they can be about their passion.
My passion was music,yet because I was the only one that I knew that played guitar
I felt like a freak and a outcast and I just stayed alone a lot.
I didn’t have that many friends a child,a few,yet nothing called true friends.
I somehow forgot my passion to do flip animation story books
and if I hadn’t I may be in California working at Disney or Nickelodeon
rather than in the North East regretting some of my many choices.
As a child I loved the circus,
one time the circus came to my home town
and I looked at the snakes and the lions and so forth.
I got paranoid so I left.
It can be scary being in a circus with dangerous creatures.
I also loved to collect shoes,tons of them
and throughout my life I would shop for shoes every few weeks.
I just loved to get new shoes.
I may seem strange,yet it is true.
I used to own light up shoes,yet they don’t make them for adults
or I may be wearing some of them today.
Hey,I’m bring me so being understandable,okay.

Now back about why I couldn’t be the real me back then:
The Dress Code Rule was Polo Shirts and Kahki Pants and I hated the rule
and because I was in Junior High and High School you couldn’t wear anything else
(The Rule Sucked Terribly)
The Gum Rule annoyed me
The Farting Rule was absurd(Don’t fart or you get detention,it was absurd)
The Six Inch Rule was pathetic(Males could only be six inches near females
and no more or males got detention and vice versa)
The Hat Rule was pointless(No Hats in Class,Anybody who knows me,knows I wear them
and that rule seemed pointless)
The Hair Rule was annoying(I’m a Man and I couldn’t keep my hair long
or I would keep on going to detention)
The Chapel Rule was irritating(Every Wednesday I had to go to Chapel
except on Holidays and this went on for a decade
which irritated me,
not that I hate the Bible,
which I don’t,yet I hated the irritating rule,
yet on the last week as a senior
I lied about being sick to avoid,that was real sweet)

Honestly I considered wearing prison uniforms with my male pals
because we honestly felt like slaves in a prison
and sadly it cost $1,000’s to go to the school
and the only academics besides education was basketball and drama,
no baseball,no football,no golf,no hockey,no tennis,no wrestling,
no band and no soccer,I felt like they were sucking the creativity out of me
so when I got to go to P.E. I was thrilled,
yet my P.E. teacher was harsh on me and made me do 4 Laos around the school
right after I would eat my lunch so one time I vomited on the gymnasium floor
and I hated how they pushed me to do chinup’s and everything else
so when they said I had finished P.E. I was like “I’m done with that torture.”

This is the truth and this is a private school
and public schools ain’t that much better
and at both places people are on drugs,
I had to turn down friend’s offers to come and see them over
them being stoned all the time.
I just couldn’t make friends that were like myself
so into music and I do feel like my decisions to stay at that school
and to not move to the West was a mistake.
If only a time machine existed and I could’ve acted and be a TV star
rather than high school slacker being in a living hell of a Christian Academy
where apparently the Pastor refused to accept that God can talk to you,
so hypocritical.


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